The Sorcerer's Apprentice

December 29

Mr. Davidson,

Five golden bangles? What am I, your personal harem master FFS? 

The delivery boy got the wrong idea entirely and winked at me while asking if I was “entertaining.” I’ve had to fend off rumours about running some exotic brothel. The neighbourhood watch is monitoring my house.

Screengrab from my front door security cam. I asked my AI about the cost of five golden bangles, and her estimate, including ultra-secure delivery, was north of $91k. Stop! You’re getting pretty weird, Fred.

Seriously pissed off,

Emily Harrison

Midjourney prompt:

An Amazon delivery person holding a tray containing five opulent golden rings nestled on a silk-lined tray, behind the Amazon delivery person are two heavyset men in tactical SWAT armour wearing dark sunglasses with assault rifles at the ready, looking out at a background of a palatial Victorian estate with fountains and artistically trimmed plants and shrubbery, ultra-wide angle, 6mm, fish-eye lens –ar 3:2 –style raw –c 30 –s 50 –v 6.1